update

for some reason, the post loaded out of order. it's titled "I don't want to waste my time". read it pleaseeeee!

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UPDATE

Hello everyone. There will be an update on both of my stories sometime today. Things have been very tough lately, and I'll explain everything in the posts.

ALSO Please let me know if you are actually reading this story. It's frustrating to think that the work is for nothing.

Thanks.

Beth

i don't want to waste my time --11--

I'm really sorry I haven't updated either of my stories in a long time. There's been so much going on that I haven't had time. I feel like you should know that April and Tegan's relationship is based on the the relationship of my and my sister. Earlier this year, I had to sit with my sister in a hospital for a few weeks because she was attacked in her own home because one of her roommates didn't want her there. Seeing my sister in the state that she was in and realizing that I had almost lost her forever really opened my eyes. But now I have finally figured out a way I can put those feelings into my writing. From here, a lot of the posts will be real experiences me and my sister have gone through.

This post skips forward about a month to May. Sorry, but I was stuck in a rut and couldn't find a way out for April and Kris. You can use your own imagination to decide how they worked it out. Again, my apologies.

I have, however, been thinking about giving these stories up. I don't really know if anyone is actually reading them. Are you?______________________________________________________________________KRIS' POVI didn't know how I could do it. Going back home to Montreal seemed like the hardest thing in the world. Losing in the playoffs to my hometown team was bad enough, but a loss like that made it ten times worse. Just when it seemed that everything in my life had fallen into place, that loss came as a crushing blow.

April had graduated from Pitt. Pens management decided that even though her schooling was done, they would let her keep the internship until the playoffs were over. Things were better than ever for the two of us, but graduating brought a whole new wave of emotion for April. The closer she got to finishing school, the more she realized that Bryan should have been there with her. And even though she was coming to terms with his death more and more, she would never forget him, and I couldn't blame her for that.

On that day that Bryan's sister had shown up, I didn't know how to handle the situation. I was so afraid that April continued to love Bryan more than she could ever love me. However, I came to realize that no matter what, she would always care about Bryan more than I would ever understand. It wasn't so much that she would never stop loving him, but she would never forget how she loved him. That small setback only made us stronger. Once April realized that I was understanding and would stay with her no matter what, we were ready to move on to our next step. Montreal.

Dream That Stole Your Soul --10--

NOTE: I'm afraid this will be my last post before I leave. I want to thank everyone who has followed it this far, and I ask that you please leave some feedback. The next time I'll be home is June 19th, only for an overnight stay, but there will be an update then.
Other days to expect updates are: July 3-5, July 17, July 29th, and anytime after August 6th.

___________________________________________________________

**KRIS' POV**

I didn't know who this girl was, but I didn't like her. She looked afraid to see me when I opened the door, then disgusted when she realized my purpose there. From what she said to April, I gathered that she was Bryan's twin sister.
"You," The girl turned to look at me with anger, "You think you can just waltz in here and replace him? Well, you've got large shoes to fill my friend. He was her world, still is."
I looked at April who was staring into space, tears forming in her eyes. I didn't know what to do, I didn't even know how to appraoch this girl.

"Um, miss, I think I should properly introduce myself," I was throwing out all the charm that I could, "My name is Kris Letang, I work..."
" You're a Pens defenceman," She said it so sharply, but her tone quickly changed, "You were Bry's favorite, he loved your style of play, being a d-man himself." Her eyes changed from a look of anger to a look of sadness.

"Jen," April spoke quietly for the first time, "please, don't start this right now. Please. I've shut so much of him out, it was the only way to let go." Jen stared at her before she spoke again.
"But, you remember, don't you? You have to remember how much he loved the ice. You have to remember that glow he had about him when he w
I watched as April closed her eyes, trying to stop the tears that were rolling down her face.
"April, I didn't come here to hurt you, and if I did, I'm sorry, but I just need to clear something up for me." Jen walked to April and looked directly into her eyes."Just tell me you don't love Bryan anymore, and I'll leave you alone."
April froze and closed her eyes, fighting back more tears. A few minutes passed without a response.
"That's what I thought." Jen spoke harshly as she turned and headed for the door, but stopping at the picture of Bryan and April. She pulled what I recognized as April's engagement ring out of her pocket and placed it next to the picture. "I found that at his grave, you might want to keep it." With that, she was gone. I didn't know what to do, or think.

April made her way to the couch and sat down. Within seconds, she started sobbing. I did the only thing I could think of, I sat next to her and held her. My mind wandered to the night at the arena when Carcillo bothered her. That night, as I held her while she cried, I wished that I could be the shoulder she cried on. But I never expected this.

What did this mean for us?

Sleeping to Dream --9--

SORRY IT'S BEEN A WHILE!
finals=over
prom=over
stress=over
work=....coming too sooon :(

I'll try to update more often now that the stress level is down. Comments please? :)
___________________________________________________________
**APRIL"S POV**


I took one last look at myself in the mirror. The white silk dress was beautiful, and fit me like a dream. I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned to see Tegan, in her emerald green gown, handing me a bouquet of ravishing flowers. I adjusted the veil on the crown of my head once more before taking Tegan's arm and walking to the back of Heinz Chapel. I peeked through the door to see the pews were packed with my family and friends.
"Ready?" Tegan had one hand on the door, the other extended for me to take.
"Ready." I took a deep breath and took her hand. As that famous bridal march began to fill the church, the doors opened, and the guests stood.
Arm in arm, Tegan and I started down the aisle toward the altar. As we got closer, I clearly saw my groom. Kris. We reached the altar and I hugged Tegan before taking Kris' hand and approached the priest. The cermony was beautiful, but a blurr. Everything was fine until the priest spoke.
"If there is any reason these two should not wed, it should be spoken now."
This was met by silence until someone in the back of the church rose.
"Because she's mine."
Kris and I both turned to see the speaker, but I knew who it was when I heard his voice. Standing, in the back of Heinz Chapel, with his jet black hair falling in its shaggy curls around his bright blue eyes, was Bryan.

I gasped as I awoke from the dream....or nightmare. It took me a minute to realize that I was shaking, and crying. I curled up with my head to my knees and sobbed.
"April? Baby, what's wrong?" Kris wrapped his arms around my shaking form and whispered in my ear.
"April, calm down. What's wrong?"
I turned to face him and told him every aspect of the dream. I told him what I looked like, where I was, who was there, everything. He looked confused when I mentioned Bryan.
"Bryan? April, that's impossible. Even though it's a dream you know it's impossible." He kissed my shoulder as I started to cry again.
"You know I'm here. Any time you have a bad dream, I''ll always be here. Always." I stopped crying at this.
Always. Hearing Kris say it brought so much comfort. Always. He said it. And, hopefully, he meant it.
After finally falling asleep again, morning came quickly. I woke up and hopped in the shower, still attempting to forget that dream.
"April? Someone is here to see you!" Kris called from the living room. I turned off the water and threw on shorts and a tee before walking into the living room, not expecting to see the woman sitting on the couch,
Jen.
"I came to catch up with you, to check on you. And I find," she paused, looking towards Kris with a look of disgust, "him replacing my twin brother. Glad to see your grief is healed."

Je T'aime --8--

Sorry it's been a while. And sorry this is excessively crappy. Like I said, MASSIVE writer's block and stress.
oh, just so you can see it:

yaaaay prom dress.

And I'd like to send a special shout out to India, who not only is an incredibly talented writer, and writes what might be my favorite story around, but an incredible support. She comments on every post and it really helps to know that someone like her is reading my stories. So thanks, India!

**APRIL'S POV**

I had no idea what I was saying. I had no idea if I was even ready to go to the next step with Kris, but I had suggested it anyway.
The team was throwing me a party at Diesel after the game that night, so I had time to consider my options. What I did know is that I would be drinking tonight, and heavily, and that had to have an effect on later.
I stopped at my apartment before heading to Diesel to meet Kris and the team. I sat infront of my closet for about 10 minutes before calling my sister, Tegan, in to help me.
"Teeeeeegaannnnnnnnnnn! I neeedd youuuuu!!" I flopped back onto my be while she came storming into the room, phone pressed up against her chest. She was probably on the phone with that pig shes always hanging around with.
"Ape, I'm kinda busy. What do you want?"
"Teeeg, I need your help." I looked up from my pillow pathetically and she rolled her eyes, turning away to end her conversation.
"Yeah...call me later?...I look forward to it. Bye Matt." The pig. Knew it.
"Tegan, find me something to wear to Diesel."
She dug through my closet until finding me a pair of tight dark jeans, studded boots, and a tight red tee shirt. She pulled out some stringy silver necklaces too.
"Here, and are you and Kris coming back here?" I froze when she asked me. I hadn't thought that part out yet.
"Um, well I....I was thinking of...I...I don't know Teeg."
"Ew, I'm staying at Matt's then." I laughed at her assumptions then changed and headed out.

**KRIS'S POV**
Where the hell was she? April said she would meet me here and it had been almost an hour. I sat on a couch in the VIP section at Diesel until I hear Vero squeal and run to the entrance, hugging someone while she did. After she finally backed away, I saw she was leading April upstairs. As soon as I saw her, I instantly forgave her for being late. It was amazing how she was able to look so incredible in a t-shirt and jeans.
"Heey, you!" She wrapped her arms around my neck as she greeted me.
"Bonjour, mon amour," I picked her up by the waist and hugged he tight, "Comment ca va?" She looked up at with a confused look.
"Kristopher Allen Letang. You know I don't speak a word of French." She looked fairly upset that she didn't know what I was saying.
"I know, just messing with you." I messed her hair a little before taking her hand and leading her to where the team was sitting.

The party was great. All the guys pitched in for an amazing cake for her and they each bought her a present too. I had decided my gift was more personal, so I decided to wait until we were alone. We left Diesel and April told me to meet her at her apartment.
I pulled up to the familiar building and walked up the steps to her apartment and knocked.
"It's open!" She yelled from somewhere in the apartment. I pushed open the door and walked into the average college student's apartment.
"I'll be right out, Kris!"
While I waited, I looked around at the pictures in her living room. The first was a picture of her hugging a short girl with jet black hair and wearing black and gold graduation robes. I immediatley recognized this as her sister, Tegan, who I had only met a few times before. I browsed over the pictures, wacky ones with her friends to her family photos, until I came upon a strange picture. It was April and a guy I didn't recognize. He looked to be a little shorter than I was, average build, and black hair with bright blue eyes. They were standing outside the Cathedral of Learning at Pitt, it looked like she had been crying, but he was holding her while they both smiled. I looked closer and noticed a single diamond ring on her finger, and a ring box in his hand. Bryan. I leaned toward the picture to get a closer look but April walked up beside me.
"That's him, incase you were wondering." She was staring at the picture in a daze, she had zero emotion on her face. "That's the night he proposed."
She crossed her arms across her chest and looked down, no doubt fighting back tears. I did the only thing I could think of doing, I wrapped my arms around her and kissed the top of her head.
"I have something for you." I smiled at her when she looked up and she led me to the couch.
"I was going to give these to you at the party, but I thought you might appreciate it more here." I gave her the blue Letang jersey that she had been looking at for the last few months, but always talked about how he couldn't afford.
"Kris! Oh my God! I told you not to buy it for me!" She kissed me qucikly before trying on the jersey. I wasn't done yet.
"April, do you have any final plans for the summer?" I felt the envelope burning a hole in my pocket.
"I was looking at some different internships, but nothing deffinate. Why?" She was fiddling with the bottom of the jersey nervously.
"Stay in Montreal with me?" I handed her the envelope with a plane ticket, which she slowly took.
"Kris.....I....you...you really want me to come with you?"
"Of course. I love you." I smile at her, noticing tears forming in her eyes.
"Oh my God, I love you." She wrapped her arms around my neck and kissed me desperately. I wasn't sure if she was ready, but I deepend the kiss, just to see what would happen. To my surprise, she strarted to take off my shirt. I picked her up and carried her to the room I assumed to be hers by the Pitt logo on the door. As a laid her down softly onto her bed we broke apart and I looked into her eyes.
"Are you sure you are ready?" I didn't want her took think I was pressuring her.
"Yes. Kris, je t'aime." At the sudden use of French I kissed he again, slowly pulling the jarsey over her head.
I knew this wouldn't be the last time I took it off of her.

check it outttt.

I'll update this tomorrow, but check this out and leave feedback :)


http://jstaaljunk.blogspot.com/2010/05/nothing-at-all-1.html